Spring Cleaning, Clutter I Just Can't Dump...

So, finally it feels something like spring here in the Chicago area. and the timing couldn't be more appropriate being that Easter is this weekend. I just completed a five day water-only fast and I feel great. I'm making an effort to usher in new and more healthful eating habits as I move forward. I'm not one of those people who can ever give up such wonderful pleasures as meat, cheese and breads, as many advocates of healthy living are urging us to do these days.  I do, however recognize the need to limit some of this stuff and cut back more on snacking and sweets. We will see how long that lasts...

For me springtime also brings a sort of compulsion to get things in order, organize and clean out some clutter - "spring cleaning", if you will. I look at my yard and think about planting vegetables. I have a large packet of a salad blend seed mixture right here next to where I write. Since lettuces and greens generally do well in cool weather, I might sow some into my garden bed this weekend to pacify this need. I look at my closets, desk, bookshelves, pantries. What excess clutter can I eliminate? This need to un-clutter even goes for my computer. I like to purge all the unused downloads, icons and stale files to make room for new stuff.

Now what about my writing?  Specifically my screenplay - this rather faithful adaptation of Martin Eden that I've nurtured over the past couple years? I have all of these draft copies, many different versions of loglines and synopses that I've crafted over the last couple years. I have half a dozen query letter versions. Lots of clutter. Why is it that I can motivate myself to clean out my closets, food pantries, work space, desks, outdoor grounds, but for some reason find it so difficult to let go of all those things that I've written?  I find it so difficult to delete anything related to Martin Eden. Really this is true for most anything I write. I feel like there is some value in all of what I write at some level. This is not to say that everything I write is good.  Much of it is pretty rotten, but still, I feel this strange compulsion to hang on to my written work, as if it will be relevant some day.

I will never use one of my old drafts of Martin Eden.  So why this need to hang on to everything related to the process? Perhaps it's something like watching your own child grow over the years. Parents will keep all types of papers, artwork, articles of clothing and all kinds of trophies and memorabilia as a reminder of different and wonderful stages of their child's growth over the years.

Perhaps it is the same with my screenplay. This is like my baby and I find it difficult to part with any reminders of conception and birth, the rough, yet fascinating period when she began to walk and talk. The time and investment that it requires to watch her grow through adolescence, and eventually to full maturity.  And all the while, knowing that they will one day leave to begin a life of their very own. I know I will be proud one day, knowing that I did the best I could...