Everyone knows that it's polite and good-mannered to hold open a door for somebody, particularly if you are a male, walking through the same doorway as a female at about the same time. It must be a dying practice, because whenever I demonstrate the courtesy, I always get a very thankful reaction, more so than if it were a regularly exercised tradition. It's almost as though it is not quite expected, or at least a rare occurrence.
Whenever I hold a door to let a lady pass through before I do, I generally receive something like "Well, thank you so much!". I guess if the gesture wasn't acknowledged at all, I'd feel a bit put off too. But to me it is more ingrained as part of my upbringing. I even extend this courtesy to men, depending on the circumstances. It would be strange, I suppose, to hold a door open for a man, allowing him to pass through before I do. However, I will not let the door slam in another guy's face if he is approaching and within spitting distance of me. Also, if there is a family, say entering a restaurant or theater, I will hold the door, if my family is not completely assembled yet. It's interesting - with a man, if you enter a space that has an outer door leading into a foyer space with an adjacent door, the first man to open the door will almost always find that the gesture will invariably be reciprocated when passing through the second set of inside doors. You held for me, so I will hold for you. Actually, I find the whole dance a bit awkward.
Elevators can be awkward too. Do you allow all the women to enter/exit first? Is this determined by age/gender? Often, I think this can also be dictated by whether or not a passenger's arms are full of parcels, if they have a baby stroller, if their party outnumbers yours, and obviously if you find yourself in the back or front of the elevator. And why do so many people who enter an elevator on a floor after you've gotten on and pressed the button for the lobby, feel the need to over-press the button? It's almost as if saying, you possibly couldn't have pressed that lobby button anywhere near as well as I just did. There is really enough material here for another whole blog post. Maybe I will let that simmer for a bit, or pass it off to my good friend, Zep, the other Whine Press contributor.
Now I have to talk about revolving doors. I have no idea if there is a prescribed or proper etiquette for revolving doors. I guess when I approach simultaneously with somebody else, regardless of gender, I feel it most gentlemanly to allow that person to enter the building first. What makes revolvers tricky is that they require a little work. The courtesy here relies on who is doing the brunt of that work. Now you can seem courteous by allowing a person to go in front of you into the first open section. But this can be extremely discourteous, if you then allowed that person to push the door around, while you just kept your hands in your pockets, wishing they'd only push faster. But you can also be the first to enter and at the same time, allow the people following you to do the pushing, while you are wishing they'd put a little more back into it.
Now what about public buses? Do you agree with my thinking in that if you are forced to stand for the duration of the ride, if all the seats are taken, that all standing, should be allowed to exit the bus first, before anybody whose had the luxury of being seated, texting and reading for the whole ride? Apparently, there are very different feelings about this disembarkation protocol too. It seems when it comes to buses, there is very little sense of any real protocol, courtesy or etiquette. Dog-eat-dog is the order. I've never written a post, where out of it sprang forth so much potential and new ideas for subsequent posts...
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